The Masters

There will always be people better than you at the things you enjoy. Some take this as a challenge something to aspire to, or even be better than. I say the most important things in life can be broken up into three categories; love, eating, and biking. After scouring the series of tubes, that is this information super-highway. I have found the three masters of these domains.

Love:
When people think of love, they usually think of beautiful people, because love is a beautiful idea. The thing is, love is a real thing, and people don't think of real love, ya dig? Love is not only for the beautiful its for everyone, and lets be real, everyone else is ugly. So I present to you the beauty of ugly love, with the waffle house wedding:


















Eating:
I fucking love eating, its the best. I wish i could just eat and eat and fucking eat and not worry about a thing. Some people do, those few lucky vikings, I salute you, I once was on that path but I bitched out and started regulating my food intake... fucking quee'ah eh? This man, he is the winner of eating. His name, Manuel "Meme" Uribe, and he is finally mobile thanks to his new special bed, I bet he is headed right for a drive through, to win at eating some more. Meme even has a girlfriend, who he is getting engaged to, so all you fat slobs, there's girls into that shit, hit it up, super models are shallow anyways. He is the worlds heaviest man thus, he wins, he eats more than anyone so he's the winner of eating. You may think you eat allot but I don't see your freakish ass in the Guinness book of world records.. do I?!..... unless you are... then I apologize, and if your that fingernail guy, I'm just impressed you could work a computer with those monstrosities you call nails, having gross nails isn't cool.... eating is... cut those nails and hit up a burger, PEACE.









Biking:
Biking is fucking awesome, my favorite variety is beer-cycling. Biking is just great in every aspect, its hard to fuck up biking, but some people do. I have nothing against fixed gear bikes, I have one, Its good times. But there are some people who just gay the shit out of it, you know who you are... Fixie riders are the reason I was wary about getting one for myself, but whatever just fuck it. There are some people who just do their own thing, and make it cool, it could be the gayest shit, like devil stick, but if you just commit to it in the right way, people will think its sick too. For example take this crew of Trinida­dian teens, in a world where track bikes and FIXED LIFE! reign supreme, they actually keep it real. They are just kids who are trying to push each other to put the sickest sound system on their crappy BMXs. They are cooler than you'll ever be.... im talking to you fingernail guy...