Hey Remember: Pokemon

When pokemon hit the scene I was super into it, I was into the game and I was into the show. Every day after school I'd get home and grab a fat stack of oatmeal raisin cookies, and head to the basement where I'd watch the new episode of Pokemon and jam out to the Pokerap. It was sick, while it lasted, but eventually the episodes became reruns, and I pretty much mastered the pokerap. I did continue to squeeze many hours of enjoyment out of that little red cartridge, and yes I had red, because Charizard is bad ass, and fire is cool. The only reason you should have blue is because your friend already had red, and you guys wanted to trade shit. No one should pick squirtle by choice as their first main pokemon... because given the choice between fire and water, the choice is always fire is and always will be way more bad ass. You don't give your kids flamethrowers, you give them Super-Soakers, because its pussy kid shit. Bulbasaur is Switzerland, neutral territory, but he did shoot leaves like ninja stars... and ninjas are cool, so he is cooler than those quee'ah squirtles. Also by the rules of Captain Planet, fire is a bad ass American, possibly one of the world's only ginger superheros, and water is a Asian girl... So to review fire is for bad asses burning shit, and water is for little Asian girls. If you still think water is cool because it puts out fire, tell it to the burn ward.







Also fucking mewtwo... the most wile and elusive pokemon of them all... fuck him...






So If anyone remembers mewtwo there is only one of him in the entire game. I had to fight him over and over and over again. He was way to hard to capture, and trying to catch him ended in a drained battery on more than one occasion for me. But after much stick-to-it-iveness I caught him..... a feat I believed few capable of. So I went to my one friends house to gloat about it... yea my one friend... because I was, and probably still am, a loser. And when I dropped the knowledge on him about my conquest, he asked why I didn' just use the masterball... the pokeball that catches anything first try.....FUCK...... totally forgot about the masterball.... why? because I used it on a fucking Pikachu.... because I wanted a fucking pikachu...fuck...... and with that all the pokemon mastery I believed I had, turned into a realization that I'm a fucking idiot....